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Behind Us Forever: What Animated Women Want
“Now that that unpleasantness is behind us forever . . .” – Selma Bouvier [Note: It has become apparent, much to my disappointment, that I cannot run a website that criticizes Zombie Simpsons without,...
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Behind Us Forever: Pulpit Friction
“Hey, look, those frogs are eating all their crops!” – Homer Simpson Marge has to yell in church to get everyone to sit down, and meanwhile Lovejoy was just standing at the pulpit waiting patiently?...
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Behind Us Forever: Whiskey Business
“Your bowtie is just darling.” – Rene “Well, thanks. Yeah, it kinda draws the eye away from the old mug.” – Moe [Note: Apologies for not getting this up yesterday. I’m having grotesque technical...
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Behind Us Forever: Fabulous Faker Boy
“My hair! You chopped off my hair! Oh, God, I’m ugly!” – Homer Simpson Well, it was certainly nice of the Robot Chicken guys to eat up ninety seconds of screentime with that opening. And it’s a...
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Behind Us Forever: The Saga of Carl & Dangers on a Train (And Season 24!)
“So long, suck-ahhh!” – Bart Simpson Because FOX sucks at scheduling, how about a two episode season finale? Why not!: After a clumsy introduction they’ve convinced themselves that repeating the...
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Behind Us Forever: Homerland
“Anybody lose their glasses? Last chance. Woo-hoo! The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.” – Homer Simpson “That’s...
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Behind Us Forever: Treehouse of Horror XXIV
“Is it supposed to take this long? What’s a good time for a mass evacuation of the entire plant?” – C.M. Burns “Forty-five seconds.” – Mr. Smithers “And what’s our time so far?” – C.M. Burns “I don’t...
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Behind Us Forever: Four Regrettings And A Funeral
“I regret nothing!” – Doomed Guy in Movie Ticket Line If any of us had been wondering what it would be like if Zombie Simpsons took the unrelated tales from one of their four-part storytelling...
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Behind Us Forever: YOLO (
“There is just one dance that will beat them, the Tango de la Muerte.” – Eduardo “Only one man was crazy enough to dance that dance, and he is dead!” – Lisabella “My twin brother, Freduardo! But...
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Behind Us Forever: Labor Pains
“Step aside, I’ll deliver this baby.” – Homer Simpson “Uh, why don’t you let me handle it, Homer?” – Dr. Hibbert “Oh, college boy, eh?” – Homer Simpson “Homer, for God sakes, let him deliver the...
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Behind Us Forever: The Kid Is All Right
“Worked for the Carter Administration?” – Marge Simpson “Well, you voted for him, twice.” – Lisa Simpson “Lisa, shh, someone might be listening.” – Marge Simpson It’s never been all that hard to poke...
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Behind Us Forever: White Christmas Blues
“I know this has been a stressful holiday, but, in a way, having nothing reminds us how lucky we really are.” – Marge Simpson “What?” – Lisa Simpson “We still have each other. And isn’t that the best...
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Behind Us Forever: Steal This Episode
“Come on, Milhouse, you have to do this. If not for yourself, then for the movie going public, and for the foreign markets that more important than ever nowadays, and finally, for me, the Mickster.”...
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Behind Us Forever: Married To The Blob
"Tell me, how do you feel about forty-five year old virgins who still live with their parents?" – Comic Book Guy "Comb the SweetTarts out of your beard and you’re on." – Comic Babe "Don’t try to...
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Behind Us Forever: Specs and the City
“This is my pride and joy: I’ve had hidden cameras planted in every home in Springfield. I got the idea from that movie ‘Sliver’, what a delightful romp.” – C.M. Burns If there’s one thing Zombie...
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Behind Us Forever: Diggs & The Man Who Grew Too Much
“Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety. Just watch . . . I don’t think he’s coming back.” – Falconry Guy First we got a nice long break from Zombie Simpsons,...
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Behind Us Forever: The Winter of His Content
“Well, let me tell you something, boy, if you don’t stand up for yourself, bullies are gonna be picking on you for the rest of your life.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Simpson! Give me your newspaper!” –...
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Behind Us Forever: The War of Art
“Oh, Kenny, look at the interplay of light and shadow. It’s so luminous and vibrant!” – Lisa Simpson “Thanks, Lisa, I painted that one. The real one’s in my garage.” – Kenny the Museum Guard If...
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Behind Us Forever: You Don’t Have to Live Like a Referee
“I guess some people never change. Or, they quickly change, and then quickly change back.” – Homer Simpson Zombie Simpsons has enough systemic and repetitive problems that I would never try to...
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Behind Us Forever: Luca$
“Where is Homer, anyway?” – Selma Bouvier “It’s so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all.” – Patty Bouvier “What, Aunt Patty?” – Lisa Simpson “Oh, nothing, dear, I’m just trashing your father.” –...
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